Teach Your Children

I cannot believe such people exist.

Ann and i were at one of the Muslim eateries in Far East Plaza, and sitting very near us were a strange couple. While we were waiting for our food and talking, i noticed the guy glance at me and squint his eyes (if you can call them eyes). And then it happened again. And again. And again. Sometimes the girl stared at us too.

We were very puzzled. Like what the fuck is their problem? And when we looked right back at them, into their eyes, they did not have the decency or the common courtesy to look away. (Reminds me of that Hollanv V ah siao)

Finally, Ann *round of applause* did something remarkable.

Ann: Can i help you?
Guy: Huh?
Ann: Can i help you?
Guy: No... not really.
Ann: Cos i feel very uncomfortable that you keep looking at us and frowning.
Guy: I was frowning meh?
Me: Yes. Do you have a problem?
Guy: (muttering, barely audible) I thought you were a man.
Me: What?
Guy: (looking down at the table) Nothing.
Me: Say it again. You had something to say. Say it to my face.
Guy: wwhehhemmwsueh (fuck knows what he was trying to say)
Girl: (trying hard to avoid eye contact) He is embarrassed that he said you looked like a man.

At this point, i got up, splashed my entire cup of teh peng on his ugly head. Okay, i did not do that.

Me: Fuck you. You cheebye son of a bitch!

NOOOO! That was just what i i said in my head. Fortunately, this came out instead.

Me: He should be more embarrassed about the way he looks.

After that, we had our dinner in peace. I caught him looking over once more, and then he woke up his idea.

What gave these two creeps the idea they had the right to talk about looks? Mind you, the guy looked like a sleepy, pimply Chinese nerd, and his girlfriend looked like her parents were first cousins. Have you seen a man this thin? And if i were a man indeed, he'd be beaten flat like Hainanese pork chop!

Arms that chain us, eyes that lie

John Nash developed the game theory one night at the bar (according to A Beautiful Mind) when he had a stroke of genius.

A beautiful blonde was there, and all the guys wanted to go up to her, but she could only be with one guy at a time. (Really? Hmm.) If she let them have her friends, who were not the hottie she herself was, the guys would get snubbed, cos no one wants to be a substitute. So John Nash concluded that in order for all of them to "get laid", no one should go forward. They should all just sit back and have an eye feast together.

I, too, had a stroke of genius while watching on my computer a man from the Middle East get his dick severed, for raping a woman.

See, many young ladies like to dress sexy, wearing revealing tops or revealing bottoms, and sometimes both. Some old ladies do that, too. But i guess they're safe. Most of the time, if not all, in the MRT, at the bus stops, etc, some cheekopek would be openly staring these girls. Some of the more active ones would do stupid things like whistle, wave or wink at the girl. Probably wank to the thoughts of her. Good lord, we are so outraged!

Some people are quick to say that these girls deserve it. Like how? Isn't it our freedom and our right to wear anything we want? I'm sure most of us pick an outfit because we like it, not because we want attention from dirty, old men. And as a result, some girls dare not wear clothes that show too much skin, for fear of inviting perverts and rapists. But we're still not the ones at the losing end. The real losers are the men who can't have any eye feast.

If we implement dick chopping as punishment for every rapist, i'm surely the number of rape cases will go down drastically. Too extreme? Then how about the cheekopeks stop their nonsense so girls would have nothing to fear? Imagine this. Girls running around with no bras, girls wearing tiny tops, girls showing their backs, tummies or legs. What a wonderful world!

My Generation

"I didn't really knew you until today."

That, i swear, came from the subtitles of the Ch 8 nine o'clock show.

I love a rainy night

Upon closer inspection, Mr O.C (Ryan) looks very much like Cantopopper Gu Ju Ji (Leo Ku).

Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues

One night when "Drift Away" came on, in my excitement i said too quickly, "Doobie Brothers?" They had a good time laughing at me. Then weeks later i searched for the song on limewire and guess what. A very significant number of users named their files like this -- Doobie Brothers - Drift Away. According to all music guide, the Doobie Brothers never sang the song. Doobie Brothers are not to be confused with Dobie Gray, okay?

None of them along the line know what any of it is worth

I have never felt this strongly about anyone until now. I hate you. I won't call you names you're not even worthy of. But allow me to suggest two things that may have never crossed your mind.

1. karma
2. cause and effect

Now that you're in a corner, you're so desperate to have your way you resort to making threats (btw that's quite rude of you). But months ago when you came to us with your filthy bag of lies and pushed us to that corner, how did you sleep at night? While your empty promises almost had us killed (i am not exaggerating i swear), we took in everything silently. And now that we've barely survived the first major ordeal, you opportunistically come right back and make your goddamn demands.

All we needed was some time and for you to keep your promises to get things right. Perhaps we were at fault in the beginning, but we did not mean to do that. I can't say the same for you though, of your ill intentions and your poor execution of them, what with those lousy lies and lame excuses.

Well, you did not keep your word with us, so as far as we're concerned, we have no word to keep with you.

Crimson and Clover

I is spontaneous. 3:15 in the morning and Special K called, suggesting we go to Mustafa. I was actually lying in bed, ready to sleep, with night cream and pimple medication all over my face and looking a mess. Hesitant, i was but more persuasive he was so i ended up in a cab, headed where it never closes.

Food there is too salty, even for me. (I don't like eating "sick people's food".)

I'd wanted to get another can of Glade Strawberries & Cream air freshener spray, cos that was where i bought my current can from, and other supermarkets don't seem to carry it. But yesterday i couldn't find it! Mustafa has stopped selling Glade Strawberries & Cream air freshener sprays.

What is wrong with humanity? First they discontinued Maggi Char Mee cup noodles, then now Glade Strawberries & Cream air freshener. C'mon it's STRAWBERRIES & CREAM. Who in the right mind wouldn't like that?

I forgot the point of this entry. Was it Mustafa, salty food, strawberries & cream air spray or them always discontinuing my favourite consumer goods?