Living is easy with eyes closed

Joe kind of inspired this post.

I've encountered quite a number of loonies over the years, and most of them i've kept in my thoughts. In some ways i love meeting them, or hearing about them by word of mouth. Their existence makes life interesting, and some of them are just so cool.

Here's the OLD MEN SPECIAL!

2003, Holland Village Breko
Male subject sat tables away from me and my friends. We noticed him staring at us with a silly smile on his face and his index finger hanging from his lower lip. The whole night he sat there terrorising everyone with his gaze. Another group of 3 girls left the cafe and Male subject actually followed them out. One of them rushed back in and requested for the mangager to escort them out to take a cab. He came back after that to continue watching us, and the manager didn't do anything about him sitting there like that. Oh and when our group was talking and laughing, his smile'd broaden. We were all scared cos it was us girls and 5am in the morning. While we were gathering our stuff getting ready to go, Male subject closed his magazine and sat up straight. Seconds after we left followed suit and stood on the pavement watching our backs. We were feeling better cos the manager was with us, walking us to the main road where we got a cab.

2002, hawker centre near Redhill MRT
It was 1 in the morning, and i was having supper with my friend David. A few stalls were open and the place was relatively crowded considering that time of the night. We were finishing our food when this Old Man came to our table and spoke with clear enunciation. "Hello, do you know where to buy pockets?"
David replied steadily, "Pockets eh? Don't know." And Old Man walked away.
I was awed by their little exchange. It was as if they were on the same frequency and it was just so nice.

2002, Bus 157 along Bt Batok
I was on my way to Adam Road to meet a few people for supper, one of them Joe. So this Ah Pek came up to the upper deck and just chided Random Uncle for "smoking". Well Random Uncle was not smoking. Ah Pek was going on and on about smoking in buses and fines etc and Random Uncle did a great job of ignoring him. So what did Ah Pek do? He came and sat in front of me and bitched about Random Uncle smoking in buses to me. His hokkien was hard to comprehend so i couldn't catch half of what he was saying. But i bet he was on something.

1998, NTUC Coronation Plaza
Mindy and i hung around at Coronation a lot after school. This particular day we bought something from NTUC and were at the express counter paying for whatever we bought. While we were paying up, Nasty Old Man from nowhere crept up behind us and hurled verbal abuses at us. I don't remember the contents of his soliloquay but i remember the cashier telling us to ignore him cos he's mad.

1997, Bus 157 along Coronation, Bt Timah
After school i was going home, along with a few other girls who lived in the same area. We boarded this double-decker 157 and went to sit upstairs. The bus was rather empty since it was about 4 in the afternoon. We'd barely settled in our seats when this Grumpy Old Man started at us. He said lots of nasty things to us, calling us names along the lines of Slut. He threatened to hit us till our "blood [came] out" and to throw us in jail. All the while we just ignored him cos we were 13-year-olds. One of my friends took out her Science textbook and started reading it so Grumpy said "Don't pretend to study. You're only wasting your parents' money!" We were scared he'd follow us down when it came our stop but luckily he alighted before us.

After Hours

There's only one place to do midnight shopping in sunny Singapore - Mustafa Shopping Centre! You can find anything there, and they're mostly cheaper than other stores. I went crazy the previous time when we got to the perfume section. Shelves and shelves of perfume of every known and unknown brand we just went spray spray here, spray spray there till we exhausted every inch of our arms and couldn't tell the countless scents apart. There's just something about that place that makes me lose control and want to buy lots of miscellaneous items i don't exactly need. I love shopping at Mustafa with the girlies. It's the answer to restless people who don't wanna go home at 11 and are reluctant to waste money clubbing or karaokeing.

Last Friday night we were there when we encountered this creep. At the sportswear section Mindy was trying on a cap in front of the mirror when i noticed Creep about 2 metres away watching us, standing between rows of polo tees. I thought nothing of it initially, until we saw him again at another section. He just stood there staring at us. And when he realised i was telling the girlies about him, Creep picked up an item from the racks and pretended to be studying it. Everytime we went to another section he'd try and follow us, until he finally lost us when we took the escalator up to the ground floor then quickly up to the second floor. On our way up to level 2, we saw Creep on the escalator going up from the basement where we first met him. When he reached level 1 he looked left and right and left and right, for us, presumably. We made plans to stand in a row and pretend to be crazy girls pawing and meowing evily should Creep approach us, but sadly that did not happen.

Something exciting happens on every of our visit to Mustafa . Apart from Creep , we chanced upon a bus ride from hell on our way there. Saving grace for bus rides from hell - good music, nice-smelling lip balm, foldable paper fan.

All i need is a pint a day if i ever get out of here

Yes i am dying to go for a holiday. More specifically, i am dying to go to Bangkok and do some serious, hardcore shopping. Forget about the trips and the shows, now i just wanna shop and never stop. I'm sick of the crazy prices here. Once in Thailand i'll buy like year-long supply of clothes, footwear, bags and accessories, and i promise i won't whine about wanting to buy this and that anymore.

And since the Thai PM deal with Liverpool is likely to go through, i'm sure more imitation LP merchandise will flood the stalls no matter what they promise about clamping down the producers of the fake jerseys. How wonderful. Speaking of the deal, what's this? Globalisation or what? Now any country can own shares in a football club. And since public funds will be used, it's right to assume that every single Thai person or at least the majority of them are truly in favour of the acquisition, or is it not?

Back to the Bangkok trip, all i lack now are some mates to go with. Going alone is a bad idea. There are too many scary things in this world. Robbers, perverts, wild animals, just to name a few.

Last Dance With Mary Jane

Now that we've talked about methods to top yourself, let's move on to the musical aspect of it. What would be good songs to listen to while you do what you do?

Radiohead - Exit Music (For A Film)
This one is for the diehard music romantics. I like the song and all, but it's kinda cheesy if you ask me (dying to that song, not the song itself).

Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
This one needs no explaining, does it?

Free - All Right Now
Here's an upbeat one. It also happens to sound kind of promising. You can tell from the title right? Who said it has to be down and sappy all the time.

Andre Boccelli & Sara Brightman - Time To Say Goodbye
This one is as the name suggests. Highly recommended to those who like Josh Groban and whatelsehaveyous.

Jackson Browne - Cocaine
This is a soothing piece. Perfect for an OD.

Velvet Underground - Stephanie Says
"She's not afraid to die.. The people all call her Alaska..."

Sigur Ros - Vidrar Vel Til Loftarasa
This one provides the mood perfectly. You must hear it for yourself.

Simon & Garfunkel - Scarborough Fair
This song is pretty similar to the one above, in terms of mood. Totally calms you down.

Poison - Something To Believe In
You have to listen to the lyrics. They convince you that you're not wrong to be disillusioned with life.

The Band - I Shall Be Released
I think this one speaks for itself.

Trust me there are many many more perfect songs to go out in style to. I'm now inspired to make a mixtape with that theme in mind.

Ain't wasting time no more

I've made a list of my top 3 best ways to commit suicide. As with everything else you do, planning is essential to prevent screw-ups and eventual failure. Can you imagine failing at that even? What a gonecase cuckoobird.

3. Heroin overdose
2. Injecting an air bubble into bloodstream (read about this somewhere but i'm not entirely sure. shall have to consult Mindy)
1. Sleeping pills with liquor

The above methods were selected based on their accessibility and level of ease. I'd have put down carbon monoxide poisoning while sleeping in a car (think comfort + music!) but i can't get access to a car and i can't drive, let alone find a suitable location to execute my plan. Like how difficult is it to pop 40 assorted sleep pills one by one and sip Kahlua?